четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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Just dropping in to say hewo. Got caught up in answering some commentary elsewhere.

Thereapos;s a few noobs. Hi new people. Iapos;ll get around to adding you later, Iapos;m sure.

My cat is retarded, but yapos;all knew that already.

I do, however, have a discussion topic for you all.

It is in regards to surveys for credit.

Is it wrong to lie regarding your views or experiences in order to obtain more credit from such surveys? Do these surveys actually impact marketing? Does whatever the impact they have (if they have any) actually matter?

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Why i donapos;t have one: i LIKE my name. I was named for my grandma, Mary Patricia (patty) and my aunt Theresa. I am not a lord or lady or queen or king or pharaoh or czar, nor would i want to be. Iapos;d be killing me some peoples. I couldnapos;t care less about colors. I like animals, but iapos;m already named for one (wolff/woolf/wilczewski). I am ordained as the "right reverend", but again, i think it pretentious to use it ALWAYS. Besides in egyptian, your One True Name remains SECRET. There is only one person who knows it in full. Others important to me have bits of it. But it is my Name(ren). It is the essence of who i am. In the egyptian religion, to speak something is to make it true. Words were very heavy. Words separate us from the animals. To give someone your One True Name gives them YOU. I wonapos;t give myself willy-nilly. Besides how seriously do you take rainbow princess cerulean dragon, high priestess of the third circle of blablabla.... You just... Donapos;t.
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среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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I think the greatest comedians ever are time and history.

Why do I�say this?

Because I am considering voting for McCain/Palin this election year.� AFTER I was long firmly for Obama, and had even donated to his campaign.�

Isnapos;t it strange how time turns us all into the opposites of our former selves, to one degree or another?� How we vow in childhood never to become like our parents and then one day look in the mirror and see a distinct resemblance?

Studying history also provides a great deal of comedy.� Someone once said that we learn from history that nobody ever learns anything from history.� Another said that there is nothing new under the sun.� Things recur.� Patterns emerge.� Ironies abound.�

I find it amusing, to say the least, that in the culture of ancient Egypt there were many similarities to our own day.� They had a complex tax system.� There were complicated systems of credit worked out, even though they traded in commodities rather than coinage.� They had a system of justice which was impartial to all.� At least in theory.� The similarities were interesting because they seemed fairly modern, and yet this was taking place in Ancient Egypt, thousands of years before Christ.�

History has countless examples of these shifts, turnarounds, and reversals.� History has a superb sense of irony, it seems.�

Iapos;m not entirely sure who Iapos;ll vote for this November, but now Iapos;m not sure anymore.�
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What they say is true...sometimes telling people how you are feeling is the best way to get over it.��Just sharing my depression, and the old temptations cropping up, has lifted a little bit of the funk that was hanging over me. �And it has also�made me realize some of the sources of my recent instability.

I love my friends, and if something in their life is going poorly, I�have a tendency to absorb all of the negative emotions associated with it.� A lot of the time, I�end up feeling as though it is actually happening to ME as well. �Generally, I try to quash these feelings, since my rational mind deems it to be a little selfish to be that torn up about something that doesnapos;t really have anything to do with me.� In the past month or so, many of my friends have been having problems with relationships and work.� I�think that has all piled up, in addition to the fact that my own job is instable now as well.

By instable, I�donapos;t mean in jeopardy. �I feel that I�will always have a place in the company somewhere, and it will probably be the one I�have now. �But we donapos;t have a VP for our department yet, since July, and it is really starting to wear on me.� People that should know better are bending rules, breaking some even, because there isnapos;t anyone to really reprimand them.� Others are in the same boat as I�am, working hard, but without a true direction.��Without someone to reward me, even with just a pat on the head (figuratively), I�find I am less satisfied at work. �Couple that with the annoyance at incompetence that is not being addressed (again, no VP to address it) and the job that I�have loved is starting to become a job I tolerate.

Back on the friend note, I love to be an understanding ear to my friends, so PLEASE do not feel as though you are causing anything I�have mentioned here. �It is my own stress disorder that warps my emotions, and helping others deal with their issues is something I�feel good about.� Even if the only help I give is to hold your hand for a bit, or watch a crying movie.

In any case, I wanted to let folks know that some of my internal pressure has been released, and I�am no longer quite so down.� I held it in for too long, and now that I let some of it out, it is easier to handle.

I love you all, and thank you so much for your existence.

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вторник, 14 октября 2008 г.

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MMM....Iapos;m actually much happier right now than I was previously. I donapos;t feel ill...Yes I donapos;t feel like Iapos;m gonna fall over and die. Yay...I donapos;t want to kick people in the face at random. I have a very large rubber band on my throat and itapos;s not even squeezing...itapos;s kinda cool. And Iapos;m listening to an amazing song...which, actually...though Iapos;m not too terribly upset right now, kind of fits...? I�dunno. "Look What Youapos;ve Done" by Jet. Yay.

I took the long way home today because I�havenapos;t done so in a very long time and itapos;s very calming. Itapos;s a winding little road that goes through the hills and most of the way itapos;s lined with trees and itapos;s really beautiful when the sun is out, shining through all of the branches and leaves and dappling the ground. I almost forgot to enjoy it, though, because I was dazed and lost in a daydream. Too much like me...I had to remind myself to look at the trees as they passed, to enjoy the color of their autumn leaves and their bark.

Thereapos;s a large section of the road where the trees to the right side (heading towards Phill from Creswell) is just packed with these beautiful trees. There are signs all over it saying "No Trespassing" but I want to find out who owns it and ask if I can venture through those trees sometime...There are so many that, even in the sun, the ground beneath then is completely shadowed.

As I came around a corner I had to slow down for a pack (no, not a flock - a pack) of wild turkeys in the middle of the road. I stopped and let themselves get organized and figure out where they were going and as I passed I muttered "Scary ass turkeys" and then laughed. I laughed a lot. I canapos;t say why, but I did, and I was thoroughly happy just then and really enjoying myself.

It was beautiful today. I should have taken a walk while the sun was still up, but I got distracted by...something. Oh, I was talking to my dad, being a better daughter than I was two or three weeks ago...I was asking him about the local tribes and heapos;s going to help me get in contact with someone who can help me get in contact with the tribes and learn more about them.

Anyway, Iapos;m done rambling, as Heroes is on.

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