What they say is true...sometimes telling people how you are feeling is the best way to get over it.��Just sharing my depression, and the old temptations cropping up, has lifted a little bit of the funk that was hanging over me. �And it has also�made me realize some of the sources of my recent instability.
I love my friends, and if something in their life is going poorly, I�have a tendency to absorb all of the negative emotions associated with it.� A lot of the time, I�end up feeling as though it is actually happening to ME as well. �Generally, I try to quash these feelings, since my rational mind deems it to be a little selfish to be that torn up about something that doesnapos;t really have anything to do with me.� In the past month or so, many of my friends have been having problems with relationships and work.� I�think that has all piled up, in addition to the fact that my own job is instable now as well.
By instable, I�donapos;t mean in jeopardy. �I feel that I�will always have a place in the company somewhere, and it will probably be the one I�have now. �But we donapos;t have a VP for our department yet, since July, and it is really starting to wear on me.� People that should know better are bending rules, breaking some even, because there isnapos;t anyone to really reprimand them.� Others are in the same boat as I�am, working hard, but without a true direction.��Without someone to reward me, even with just a pat on the head (figuratively), I�find I am less satisfied at work. �Couple that with the annoyance at incompetence that is not being addressed (again, no VP to address it) and the job that I�have loved is starting to become a job I tolerate.
Back on the friend note, I love to be an understanding ear to my friends, so PLEASE do not feel as though you are causing anything I�have mentioned here. �It is my own stress disorder that warps my emotions, and helping others deal with their issues is something I�feel good about.� Even if the only help I give is to hold your hand for a bit, or watch a crying movie.
In any case, I wanted to let folks know that some of my internal pressure has been released, and I�am no longer quite so down.� I held it in for too long, and now that I let some of it out, it is easier to handle.
I love you all, and thank you so much for your existence.
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